© 2022 Patti Shene Gonzales 
I’ve heard it said that the word said is invisible on the printed page. Perhaps this is true for most readers, but for this one with OCD tendencies and some editing experience, it’s as obvious as cat hair on black clothing.
I have nothing against the word itself. It has its place, but it is a weak word. Said tells the reader nothing about the character who is speaking, what he or she is thinking, feeling, or doing.
Consider this short conversation.
“Late again,” Tom said.
“You should know me by now,” Anna said.
Now let’s add action and emotion to these short sentences of dialogue.
“Late again.” Tom folded his newspaper and smiled at his wife.
“You should know me by now.” Anna tossed her curls off her shoulder and chuckled.
The simple addition of a few words tells us that Tom and Anna are married and that this exchange is offered in a lighthearted, bantering manner.
Let’s change the scene altogether.
“Late again.” Tom slammed his fist on the kitchen table.
“You should know me by now.” Anna gazed at the floor.
This scene depicts an entirely different tone, that of an angry husband and a timid wife.
Beats can be used to reveal many elements about a character, from physical description to mannerisms to points of view and attitudes.
Consider this example:
“I’ve arranged dinner with the Andersons for Friday night,” Carla said.
“That’s just fine. We haven’t seen them in such a long time,” Jack said.
Now let’s add some beats.
“I’ve arranged dinner with the Andersons for tomorrow night.” Carla flounced past Jack.
“Oh, great. We haven’t seen them in such a long time.” Jack’s jaw clenched.
Internal thought is another technique to avoid the use of said.
“I’ve arranged dinner with the Andersons for Friday night.” Carla’s blue eyes flashed with malice.
“Oh, great. We haven’t seen them in such a long time.” Another boring night with those two, as if Tuesday wasn’t recent enough.
Said has its rightful place on your pages every now and again. Just don’t let those four letters obscure all that a few well-planned words can reveal to your readers about your characters.
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Patti Shene Gonzales hosts Step Into the Light, a weekly interview style podcast where guests share their journey out of darkness. She hosts writers on her two blogs, Patti’s Porch and The Over 50 Writer. Patti is published in two anthologies and local publications and has three novels in progress. She enjoys writing, reading, critiquing, and spending time with family and friends. Patti lives in Colorado with her devoted feline companion, Duncan. Visit Patti on her website.
